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About
1trueway
My Testimony
How I Came to Meet and Know Jesus
My testimony is not much different from many others. I was a child whose first god was his dad, but my dad did not think much of me. I was neglected, discarded, verbally abused, and left to raise myself—and I did not do a very good job.
As a child, my dad would say that men never cry, and he expected me to be the same. As a teenager, my relationship with my dad was at its worst. Then one day, I found my dad sitting in the dark on the steps of our house, crying.
I became worried because I had never seen him cry. Despite the relationship we had, I asked him if he was all right. He said he was, but then he said, “Let me tell you something, son.”
My dad came here poor but managed to make a success of himself. Yet there on those steps, he told me, “Son, look at everything I have—the money, the house, my business. After everything I’ve accomplished, I still don’t know what the meaning of life is.”
Our relationship never got better. If anything, it only got worse.
One day, my dad asked me to go to a football game with him. I responded sarcastically, “Me? Go anywhere with you? Yeah, right.” My dad turned around and walked away.
That day, my dad had a heart attack at the game and died later that day.
Why do I mention my dad? Because his death and his words had a lasting effect on me.
Here I thought this man had everything. He had the money, the house, the business, and what appeared to be success. Yet behind all of it, he was still lost. He had everything the world could offer, but he still didn’t know the meaning of life.
Looking back now, I realize how significant that moment was in my life. At the time, I didn’t understand it, but I believe God was using what happened to my dad to begin working in my heart and preparing me for what would eventually lead me to salvation.
Life Has No Guarantees
The second thing that had a lasting effect on my life was the loss of a friend who had spent most of his life working long hours, trying to get ahead and build a better life. His wife would often ask him to go to church, but he was focused on working and building his future.
Then, the very day he finally got the position he had worked so hard to achieve, he was innocently shot in the head and killed, leaving behind his wife and three children.
His death showed me something I had not fully understood before: life comes with no guarantees. You can spend years working hard to build something—to build a career, a home, a future—only to lose it all in a single moment. Life can change in an instant.
Searching for Meaning
During this time, my life was mostly rebellious—drinking, drugs, and doing things I knew were wrong. For a while, I had a lot of money when I took over my dad’s business. Then I lost it all and soon found myself broke and addicted to cocaine, my drug of choice.
I hated myself. I was haunted by the guilt of how I had ended my relationship with my dad, and I was distraught over being addicted to drugs and dirt poor. I kept failing and messing up, and I even spent time in jail.
One day, thanks to my brother-in-law, I was inspired to get into graphic design on computers. I decided to clean myself up and locked myself in an apartment, staying away from drugs and spending all my time learning on the computer. Eventually, I got clean and found a job in web design.
But it wasn't long before I became restless again. My life still felt empty. Then I met my soon-to-be wife, and I thought, “Finally, I have found the answer to life.” I was happy, but there was still an emptiness I couldn't escape. Nothing seemed to fill it. I had what I wanted, but I still wasn't joyful. Instead, I became bitter and angry.
When I Finally Cried Out to God
My wife and I had just bought a car from a dealer, and it turned out to be a lemon. I kept trying to get it fixed, but it kept failing. One day, I had just paid to have the car repaired, and while I was driving, it failed again. Angry and frustrated, I told my wife, “I wish God would take this car and wrap it around a pole.”
Later that day, I was pulling out into traffic, still angry, when another car clipped us. Our car flipped over and slid across four lanes, coming to a stop just one foot away from a pole.
At that moment, I realized that if we had hit that pole, I could have killed my wife.
That broke me.
That night, I locked myself in the bathroom and cried. I was done. I asked God that if He existed, I no longer wanted to live without Him.
Nothing dramatic happened that night. But I remember feeling a peace come over me, and I was able to sleep.
When I got married, my wife told me she was a Christian, so I told her I was one too. But the truth was, I only said that because I believed there was a God and I wanted her to be happy. I would go to church with her, but I hated it.
I would tell my non-Christian friends, “Is that all they do? Keep talking about this guy named Jesus?” It was Jesus this, Jesus that. And honestly, all I really heard was, “Blah, blah, blah.”
It was like those old Charlie Brown shows where all the adults sounded like, “Wah, wah, wah.”
When I Began to Hear
After my prayer that night, we went to church the following Sunday as usual. I sat there with no expectation that anything would be different. I was expecting more blah, blah, blah.
But as the pastor began to preach, something changed.
I began to listen with an excitement in my heart. It was as though someone had removed the wax from my ears, and for the first time, I could actually hear.
I even asked my wife, “When did they start saying this?”
I suddenly wanted to know more and more about Jesus. I spent nights on the computer learning about Him.
Then one day, I read Isaiah 53:5, where it says that He was wounded for our transgressions and bruised for our iniquities. At that moment, I began to cry.
I realized that my Lord had died for me.
I had sinned against Him, and He had taken my sins upon Himself on that cross.
Something changed in what I wanted from God. I no longer wanted God simply to save me. I wanted God to forgive me.
I was no longer a person looking for Superman to come and rescue me. I was a son who wanted his Father to forgive him for rebelling against Him.
So I prayed for forgiveness.
One day at church, our pastor gave an altar call. He had never done that before. I was sitting there, and all of a sudden, I found myself standing in front of the stage.
It was as though angels had grabbed me and taken me up there. Before I fully realized what was happening, I was standing in front of the stage, praying a prayer of repentance.
I Knew I Was Changed
I don't know exactly when God saved me or when I received the Holy Spirit.
Was it that night in the bathroom when I finally cried out to God?
Was it when I realized that I needed God's forgiveness for what I had done and prayed for it?
Or was it when I found myself standing in front of my pastor, praying a prayer of repentance?
I don't know.
All I know is that I knew I was changed.
Sin went from something I thought was all right and even fun to something I hated. God went from being something in the background of my life to someone I wanted to know more and more.
And Jesus went from someone I ignored and thought was strange to someone I could not stop thinking about and wanting to know.
I had found a love—a love I had been searching for all my life.
A love my father could not give me.
A love this world could never give me.
I had found meaning—a meaning this world could never give me or answer.
And the answer was Christ.
From Regret to Purpose
My regrets all began to turn into purpose, even my relationship with my dad. I realized that my dad was just as lost as I had been. His success had only masked his true condition. He needed Christ just as much as I did. He needed to find the true meaning of life.
My greatest regret is that I didn't find Jesus before my dad died. I often wonder if knowing Christ could have been the thing that opened his eyes to something more meaningful and lasting than what this world could offer. Maybe it could have shown him the answer he had been searching for that night on those steps.
And perhaps, more than anything, it could have been the one thing that finally gave us something we never had—a bond through Christ and a love that could have brought us together.
I cannot change my past, and I cannot go back and tell my dad what I know now. But I can take everything I have been through and use it for a purpose. The pain, the failures, the regrets, the emptiness, and even the things I once thought had ruined my life can now point me toward the One who gave me life.
I spent years searching for meaning in success, money, relationships, drugs, and everything this world had to offer. None of it could fill what was missing.
Jesus did.
And now, more than anything, I want others who are still searching to know what took me so long to discover: the meaning of life isn't found in what this world can give you. It's found in knowing Christ.