Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!
Church: A Love-Hate Relationship
The body of Christ
My Struggle with the Institutional Church
Before I begin, I want to make it clear that I love the Church—the true body of Christ. It is beautiful, holy, and powerful. My concern isn’t with the Church as God intended, but with the institutional church. I say this with a bit of tongue-in-cheek honesty: I have a love-hate relationship with it. While I value some of what it seeks to do, I wrestle deeply with how it functions—and those struggles have become hard to ignore.
“…that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.” ~ Ephesians 5:27
When I first came to faith, the church felt like home. It was where I felt safe, welcomed, and eager to grow in Christ. I found joy in fellowship and in serving alongside others who shared the same passion. Honestly, where else could I go? Many new believers see the church as a spiritual home—a place to belong and to live out their faith.
But as I grew more involved, the picture changed. What once felt like a Spirit-led community began to resemble something else. Despite good intentions, the institutional church often looked less like a family of faith and more like a system—formulaic, seeker-friendly, numbers-driven, business-like, and at times more concerned with staying relevant than with true transformation.
Once the honeymoon phase of salvation wore off, I saw less of Jesus in the church and more of man.
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” ~ Galatians 1:10
I share this from experience, not cynicism. There are good things within the institutional structure. For example, a family member of mine recently came to faith. She loves church right now in the same way I once did, and I don’t want to discourage her. I don’t want her to stop going. So I wrestle with what to say—or whether to say anything at all.
Some say church is a stepping stone—helpful for a season until you move on to deeper study, whether in Bible college, seminary, or home groups. I’ve done most of that—except seminary. Ironically, it wasn’t until I stepped away from the church that I truly began to grow. Outside its walls, my walk with Christ deepened in ways it never had inside. It felt like I had to break free from the safety of the church bubble to truly begin maturing.
The Three Choices Every Believer Faces
When I was active in ministry, I realized that every sincere believer eventually faces three difficult choices:
None of these paths are easy. Coming against the system can feel prideful, as if you think you know better—but it’s really about listening to God above man. Leaving is hard too; it means losing structure, fellowship, and community. Standing against the system may be hardest of all—it takes a grounded faith, or else you risk being chewed up and spit out.
For a long time, I struggled not to grow, but just to stay engaged. My fire for Jesus dimmed, and I grew spiritually stagnant. Sometimes I wonder—if I had stepped away sooner, would I have matured earlier in my walk with Christ?
Now, when I look at my friend who is newly passionate and fully immersed in church life, I can’t help but wonder: will she face the same stagnation I did? Would it be better for her to know the truth now, rather than later?
It’s a heartbreaking realization—for some of us, true spiritual growth begins not inside the church walls, but only after we step beyond them. We don’t grow because of the church, but often in spite of it.
“Therefore let us go to Him outside the camp, bearing His reproach.” ~ Hebrews 13:13
It’s difficult because church can feel so alive: worship, preaching, announcements, inspiring videos—it’s easy to get swept up in the emotion and feel like the church is changing the world. But then Monday morning comes, and real life sets in. The feelings fade.
The real test is this: Are you becoming more Christlike outside the church walls? Are you living out the gospel daily, forsaking the pull of the world? And beyond yourself—do you see the same transformation in others? Is the church truly equipping you to walk as a disciple? Does it challenge, correct, and encourage you—or does it simply make you feel comfortable?
If you’ve grown in your faith through the church—living as salt and light, walking as a true disciple, able to say with confidence, “Imitate me as I imitate Christ”—then I’m truly glad you’ve found such a place. If that kind of church exists, I’d love to be there with you—and I know you’d welcome me.
“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” ~ 1 Corinthians 11:1
