True Love
When you know the Creator, you understand the creation
From Counterfeit to Christlike Love
Do you believe you truly know love in its deepest sense? I thought I did—until Jesus came into my life. He revealed that before Him, my love was counterfeit and flawed at best, like being buried under six feet of dirt.
In the world, “love” is often spoken lightly, reduced to a cliché. We say it to family, friends, strangers who help us, even to possessions or food. While we may admit we don’t truly love our possessions, we convince ourselves that we genuinely love people. When questioned, we redefine love to defend ourselves.
One example is the concept of “love languages,” popularized by Dr. Gary Chapman in The 5 Love Languages. It suggests that people express and experience love in different ways. Yet in practice, it can feel shallow—like a spouse who ignores you for long stretches but is considered “loving” because they share a favorite activity. Love languages, treated as personal preference, can oversimplify love. True love, especially from a biblical perspective, is rooted in action, sacrifice, and commitment—not in what makes someone feel good.
Even before Christ, I thought I loved my family and friends. But my love was conditional, fragile, and shaped by how others treated me. After having a daughter, I realized I still struggled to love her fully. The problem was my spiritual immaturity—I was flesh, spiritually dead, and the flesh cannot truly love. A spiritually dead person cannot love because of a God-shaped void. This emptiness creates self-seeking neediness, making attempts at love flawed or even harmful. We are like empty vessels trying to pour out what we do not possess.
Jesus revealed the true definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4–7:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
This love is steadfast, sacrificial, and eternal—unlike the world’s shallow, self-centered version. Confronting it is humbling. It makes us realize our own love is inadequate. True love is Christ Himself—for God is love, and apart from Him, the flesh, which is dead, cannot love authentically.
We must be rooted in Him to love as He loves. Like branches connected to a vine, we cannot bear fruit apart from Him. John 15:5 says: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” Bearing the fruit of Christ demonstrates that we are alive in Him; the branch is living.
Settling for the world’s cheap substitute deceives us, robs others of real life, and spreads spiritual decay. True love—Christlike love—requires connection, dependence, and surrender to the One who alone makes us alive.
Consider a lamp that is unplugged. On its own, it has all the parts but gives off no light. Plug it into electricity, however, and it shines brightly, illuminating every corner. In the same way, a spiritually dead person may feel emotions or kindness, but without God, love is limited, inconsistent, and self-serving. With God—the source of spiritual life—love flows naturally, sacrificially, and unconditionally, even when it’s difficult or undeserved.
Just as the lamp cannot shine without its power source, the flesh cannot truly love because it is dead. True love is not learned or manufactured; it is received, lived, and poured out from the heart of God.
Summary
“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” — Jeremiah 29:13
